Lately, it really seems as though my attention has been drawn to the subject of "PTC", or Present Time Consciousness. Simply stated, it means really being in the moment and paying full attention.
This isn't a new thought wave for me - my husband and I have emphasized the practice of PTC in our wellness practice for years. Having children also demanded me to sharpen my PTC saw in order to be the type of parent I wanted to be. Experiencing my mother's final months with breast cancer forced me, like nothing else, to focus on the moment and what's most important, and not get too caught up distractions.
Our recent road trip to a seminar in Atlanta with our kids really brought this concept back into the limelight for me. My husband and I were very busy with the seminar for four full days and needed our children to patiently wait for us until each break came along. Sure, we had come ultra prepared with books, games, drawing boards, and so on. But, it was a lot to ask of a 6 year old and an almost-4 year old!
They handled it masterfully! I've written a couple other articles talking about other probable reasons for this - their nutritional intake and their regular movement, despite being in a car and seminar room for such extended periods of time.
I believe that the number one reason the kids were such champions for those six days is that my husband and I were dedicated to PTC. When we were in the seminar, we were focused on what was being taught and what we needed to know. But, the second that break time came along, our complete attention was on the kids and fully experiencing those moments with them.
It's amazing the richness and fulfillment that can come from a fully focused 15 minutes! When someone feels that they have your complete, undistracted attention, time seems to stand still.
It was like power bonding on those breaks! Our family would all head outside into the sunshine and play together, laugh, hug... and just enjoy being in each other's company. Then, when it was time for mom and dad to get back to class, there wasn't any whining or moaning from them - they were filled up with love and attention and good-to-go until the next break!
It was the same thing in the mornings before the seminar started and afterward at night. At least one of us was giving the kids full PTC. They rose to the occasion, most likely as a result.
So, this trip was one more example that reminded me how important it is to practice PTC, particularly in our most important relationships. The more effort we make, the 'better' we see others respond. The same is true whether we're dealing with our children, our spouse, a client, a cashier or a customer service representative!
As a parent who home schools while also working 90% of the time from home, I'm often faced with the challenge of balancing my children's needs for attention with the needs of working and maintaining a household. If I ever find myself frustrated with the kids' behavior and wondering why they're acting so 'needy' or so 'bratty', I take a step back and take a look at the overall situation with fresh eyes. Oftentimes, the undesirable behavior has something to do with too much co-existence with mom and not enough focused PTC. Meaning, I've been spending too much time in the vicinity of the kids, but not necessarily with them - doing my work on the computer, cooking meals, cleaning the house, doing laundry, and so on.
At this stage in their lives, they don't just need me to be nearby, they need me to be WITH them... in their space, at their level... even for just a little while. Almost every single time the less-than-ideal situation can be resolved with a dose of PTC! I spend some sincere, focused time with them, then just like at the seminar, they're good-to-go for awhile again!
With exercise, we get exponentially better results when we add bursts of intensity. The same is true in our relationships. It's impossible for me to 100% present with the kids all the time. Honestly, they don't want that either! They need their independence, too. But when their dad and I give them our focused time and attention for short bursts throughout the day, the harmony of the household soars!
When we honor people by being fully present in our shared moments together - even if just for a brief time - chances are that they will rise to the occasion as well. When we can fully be in the moment with someone, and we string together many of these moments throughout our day and our week... we end up with rich, more fulfilling relationships for a lifetime.
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